When you have those moments you have had thousands of times before with students planning their lives and then your own teenage son actually starts the conversation how not prepared was I.
As he began to talk about his day going on a visit regarding his academic choices towards a career I was listening and excited, yet catatonic inside wanting him to stay right where he is in that seat next to me in the car forever.
I know better. I know he has to go. I want him to go. I want him to plan and prepare. I want him to be able to support himself doing something he loves for his adult life. The adult life that we get and then spend all of our days thinking about this exact time in life, that he is recognizing slips by so fast.
It was a long, long week. We threw in laundry for the morning basketball clinic and then hit our beds exhausted. Up early and getting things out of the dryer together we got laughing. I was giving him a lesson on drying his uniform with towels to keep them from not getting scratchy in the dryer. I said, “Remember this for when I am not around.” He looked at me and said, “It’s ok, you’ll be there.”
I said, “Yes, I will. Maybe one of those big houses in LA where you do not even know I am there.” The thing is we both know he will go his own way and yes I live with my mom so I see that he would, if it went like that, yet most likely not.
I think the idea of growing up is as hard on him as it is on me. It is those moments I cherish. I will be there, even if not here or there with him. My stories, my lessons will always be with him.
See you after basketball with smoothie in hand as today I get to pick you up and you are still a teenager. These days are here, right now and we are together. Keep growing, planning and preparing for your adult life. The grass may not always be greener as we age, but the seeds you plant now, the choices you make matter. Take the time to really think about what you like and love to do with passion.
Do that and nothing or no one will stand in your way. The key is to find love along the way to enjoy the passage to the New World of adulthood. The seas get rough and boats sink. You may need to tread water from time to time, but land will appear and it may be more than you even dreamed if you had not kept going.
I have you because I kept going. I will keep going because of you. I am excited to see where we land, love you my angel so very much. Teaching you to fish is the accomplishment I am the most proudest of in my adult life, pay it forward as I know you will.